His Calling

I did not recognize it as a calling as I was reading Running with the Buffaloes by Chris Lear and "sports massage therapy" was mentioned, but something within me stirred and I thought, "hmmmm..."  I did not run right out and register at the local massage therapy school or even request information on a program, instead I continued attending classes with the intention of majoring in dietetics (until I realized how much chemistry would be involved).  I did, however, continue to stumble across it in my thought processes from time to time -- turning it over in my mind and wondering, "what if?".
 I enrolled at the National Massage Therapy Institute in Falls Church, Virginia approximately three years after Lear's book lit the smallest of sparks in me and I had never actually received a massage myself.  Truth be told, up until seeing the word "sports" in front of massage therapy, I had always pictured massage as a luxury that bored housewives indulged in after a day of lounging on the couch and eating bon-bons.  I have always had an interest in the human body and if you had asked me as a senior in high school what I wanted to do, I would have told you athletic training or sports medicine.  I got side-tracked and I lost my way and tried on many different hats, but the point of all of this is that even while I was very, very far away from God, He was designing His destiny for me.  He was speaking into my soul and aligning me and my talents for Him and His glory.  I will never stop being grateful or stop tearing up when I think about His patience with me or how it must have broken His heart to see me do the things I did to myself.
I try to bring God's light with me into the massage room every day and I pray for His healing for all of those on my table and I will always love being a vessel for Him in this way, but I know He is calling me to do other things for His Kingdom.  I am seeking His will and listening for His voice, but until I see what direction He is pointing me in, I will take small faithful steps of obedience because I know they are building blocks that will eventually position me where He can use me the most. 
Recently Brandon and I were approached by our pastor and his wife about taking on a small role in the church.  If it had been just about anything else in the world, we would have immediately said yes, but this involves getting up in front of the whole congregation every Sunday if only for a few minutes at a time.  Really?  The one thing in this world that absolutely terrifies me???  But I trust the Graingers and know this was something that they had prayed about before they brought it to us.  I also believe that God calls us to be better versions of ourselves for Him.  This is one of the reasons I love my church so very much; Pastor Lucas challenges us to step up and live out our faith instead of passively listening to sermons Sunday after Sunday.  He is equipping us to equip others to share the Good News of Jesus Christ, have deeper intimacy with our Heavenly Father, and walk in harmony with the Holy Spirit.  While I was seeking a new church a little over a year ago, I had one major requirement - that it meet the standard set in Ephesians 4:11-13
So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers,  to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up  until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
The vision of Coastal Vineyard Church is built upon a model of discipleship and we desire to see all of our members with their hands n the soil. I cannot yet say with any certainty what works He will call me to do for His Kingdom in the future, but I truly feel as though I am being prepared for them. I do know I have a broken heart for young girls who give themselves away before marriage (as I was one of those girls) and I hear Him whispering to me about this, but it is still unfolding and I am still growing and I will answer that call when it comes.  I also share a passion with my husband for youth and I feel He may be  moving us in that direction together but while we are waiting for His call we are growing -- which means doing the things that will refine us for Him.  Like standing up in front of all of those people.  Which is really nothing when you consider that there are Christians who are persecuted, tortured, and die for their faith every day around the world.  If this is all He is asking me to do right now, to become better for Him, how could I say no?  It is a small price to pay when every single day of my life I rejoice because He lives in me!