Mary In Bloom

Belonging to a "life group" has been such a major part of my growth as a person, in my faith, and has helped me to feel very connected in a church as large as Barefoot.  Many Hands, One Heart (our group) has been meeting for going on two years now and is comprised of a mish-mash of people.  Many life groups form based on age or other common bonds, but One Hearters initially drew people in due to the fact that child-care was available.  Dad, Mom, Brandon, and I - though we didn't need childcare - joined so we could belong to a life group with my sister Leslie.  Since then we have had people move on, but have had many others join, usually because they knew someone else in the group.  We participate in studies, fellowship, and pray for one another.  I love every single One Hearter and have been so thankful to come together with them once a week.  I cannot count how many times our Thursday nights uplifted me when I truly needed it.

We took some time off around the holidays because of everyone's busier than usual schedule and finally met again last Thursday.  Our facilitator, Darrell, presented us with a predicament.  He and his wife Angela have extremely busy schedules for the next 6-8 weeks so they gave us a choice of taking an extended break, having someone else facilitate in their absence, or a rotation of people facilitating.  We agreed upon a rotation and felt it might be beneficial for us to review the previous weekend's sermon -- this gave everyone at least a jumping off point.  When it came time for someone to volunteer for the first week, no-one was saying anything.  I began to think maybe I should do it, but was boring a hole in my Dad's head with my eyes hoping he would step up, but he was deep in conversation with Mike.  Should I do it?  Brandon jabbed me in the leg and said quietly, "You should do it!"  Before I knew it my mouth was open and somehow words were coming out saying, "I'll do it."

Gulp.

I always take notes during the weekend message, but as Pastor Lucas Board was preaching, I was also thinking ahead to what we might talk about on Thursday night.  The first piece of scripture he used was from Ezekiel 37 and I immediately heard the Casting Crowns' song "Spirit Wind" in my head.  This is a song that has captured my imagination and actually pushes me forward in my reading of the Bible - I have very much been anticipating reading the book of Ezekiel in its entirety.  I started it one night after my regular reading plan to see what it was all about and thought, "Wow, this is a lot different from the other books I have read".  I decided to read the rest of it when I get there.

Now, I am not a Bible scholar and I am definitely not a teacher so I began to search the internet for a lesson on Ezekiel 37 that I could follow and supplement.  I found one and typed up the questions for the group and kept the entire study (questions and answers) for myself.  Initially I felt that this was going the easy route (cheating), but I have since realized that in this endeavor I am learning too.  I am not only learning about this passage of scripture, but about teaching the Word of God, and stepping out of my comfort zone. 

As I was preparing everything, Brandon kept commenting on how proud he was of me -- I just kept telling him to be quiet so I could concentrate!  After I was done I looked at him and said, "I am so not qualified to do this".  He said, "You didn't have to volunteer because I told you to".  I said, "I didn't.  My mouth just opened up and words started coming out."  He then told me what I already knew -- that it was a push from the Holy Spirit.

Laying in bed last night once again I began to think of how I am not qualified to be teaching anything from the Bible.  I was nervous, tossing and turning, and wondering if I would get any shut-eye.  And then like a lightning bolt, Lucas Board's words from last weekend's message hit me full force.  "God does not call the qualified.  He qualifies the called."  Finally I had some peace and was able to get a good night's sleep.

I am still nervous and will be all day, but I have a couple things on my side.  These people love me and support me.  I am being obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and God will bring the strength, peace, and the words I need for me and and my fellow One Hearters to dive a little deeper and extract a more clear message from His Word. 

     Living in as many places as I have and no longer being geographically close to many of my friends, I have been a long time advocate and defender of Facebook.  Last month, however, there was family member with whom we were trying to reach on the phone.  It was frustrating because she would not answer her phone or return missed calls, but I saw that she was constantly on Facebook.  I not only felt hurt, but a little self-righteous.....until I took a closer look at my own Facebook usage.  The few close friends I do have, I maintain real time or phone time relationships with so I am not guilty of replacing the real connections with Facebook messages.  I did realize, however, that I always started my morning logging in to Facebook with my breakfast and morning coffee or tea only to find that time had slipped away from me and I had to start getting ready for work NOW!  In my defense, I was not spending all of that time on Facebook, but it would start there and then I would end up googling this that or the other and my morning would slowly be whittled away.  I decided to take a break from Facebook to see how much time I would gain in a day and what could be done in that time.  I saw a difference in my life almost immediately.  Oh, the things that were getting done BEFORE work....it rocked my socks off!!  I'd get up, go on a run, unload the dishwasher, scrub the bathroom, fold a load of laundry, and ta-da!  The house was staying tip-top with seemingly no effort!  With the house taken care of I was finding that I didn't feel like I needed to rush home and so Brandon and I began to hit the gym on a more regular basis.  I also found that our time at home together was more "together", even during the times he was playing a video game and I was reading (instead of being on the computer) we were sitting with each other occasionally chatting and definitely snuggling.  One of the things I wanted to do more of during what I began to call my "Facebook Fast", was to be in God's Word more.  With all the company we had this month and preparing for and enjoying the holidays, this was not accomplished, but I am now poised and ready to dive straight in.  I am not sure when I will log back in, but I know that I want to keep living without as much Facebook and more real life.  I wasn't  spending as much time on Facebook as I know a lot of people do, but even the small amount of time I was could be better spent doing something more worthwhile and I want to keep it that way.

     A church out of Wilmington, NC challenged its members in 2010 to choose a word to help shape their coming year instead of making a list of resolutions.  I heard about the challenge last year on K-Love and was inspired by the abstract kind of motivation it could unleash in my life.  They have a website to help you get started and write about your journey: http://www.myoneword.com/.  Last year my word was "bloom" and, as you may have guessed, became the catalyst for me to start my blog.  As 2011 drew to a close, I started to think about what my driving word would be for 2012. I noticed immediately that I was feeling pretty protective over the word "bloom" and was upset that I was going to have to trade it in for a new word.  "Bloom" really did have a presence in my life throughout the year and it really was the perfect word as I was growing in my new Christian life.  I could never have guessed that a single word could have had such a profound impact on me and the person I'm becoming and now I had to replace it!  How could another word possibly even measure up?