Mary In Bloom

It's three weeks since my last post and I did finally start running again.....yesterday.  With good intentions I set my alarm every night for an hour early enough for me to rise and get a run in before the rest of my day started, but I am the queen of procrastination and I love my sleep.  Then something very wonderful happened!  Now, I have lived here since 2007; I love the beach, but have since grumbled and complained that this area does not have any hiking trails.  I had heard of this little place called Vereen Gardens located just a couple of miles from my neighborhood, but always pictured it as a dinky little trail with no ups or downs.  In a word: boring.  Well, last Friday came and Brandon and I both wanted to shrug off the gym (again), but I wanted to at least do something physical so I suggested with take the dogs for a short jaunt at Vereen Gardens.  We loaded the pooches into the car and made our way to Vereens really just expecting a short, quick walk in the fresh air.  Oh, my fancy was tickled as we discovered a treasure trove of winding, interconnected, up-and-down dirt trails!  Trails-trails-trails!!  I couldn't be more excited because I can run forever on trails and not realize how far I have gone.  The trails eventually take you to marshy wetlands where they have built bridges for people to walk over.  We were getting hungry and still had to make a stop at Wal-Mart so we turned around and headed back to the car with plans to bring our nephew back the next day.  Saturday, with nephew and dogs in tow, we went back and crossed the bridges to find the shore of the intracoastal way lined with thousands upon thousands of oyster shells.  I have never seen anything like it!  Monday came and I think my husband was a little surprised to hear me making plans to hit Vereen Gardens yet again, but without skipping a beat, I put on my iPod, grabbed Kudra and hit the trails a-runnin'.  There is nothing like pure nature to remind me of the glory and magnificence of God.  There is nothing like being surrounded by forest to remind me of my smallness and how fleeting this life is in the grand scheme of things.  It reminds me to stop putting things off until tomorrow.  Like Pastor Clay's wife Kim preached at our recent Threads event, "Better get to livin'!"  I got turned around a couple of times, but used the light from the setting sun to figure out which direction the Jeep was parked.  Eventually I believe I will have the trails figured out and I know I'm going to have an amazing time doing it.  It dumbfounds me that I never set out to explore this place, but the Lord knows what we need and when we need it!
"I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours"  - Casting Crowns

     First things, first:  Brandon and I both passed our written and practical exams for our personal training certification; we just have to get our CPR certifications and we will be in business.  Now.....if we could just get ourselves to the gym more often, we would really be doing good.  I cannot tell you how many times we have gotten into the car and headed to the gym IN our workout clothes and have found detours along the way....."We really need to hit the grocery store and we're kind of tired and hungry so....we'll start tomorrow."  It feels cheap somehow to be grocery shopping in your workout clothes knowing darn good and well you never made it to the gym (insert sheepish look). 
     I have a meeting at The Wellness Center our church is partnered with today about providing massage therapy at the center and decided to see if just maybe a couple of the nice pairs of jeans I owned when I met Brandon may be a little closer to fitting.  Well, I got one pair out of four buttoned.  Boo.  If I could lose the extra weight I have been carrying, I not only would feel better and be healthier, but I swear I would gain a really great wardrobe back.  I know they say to toss out the clothing items in your closet that don't fit you anymore, but keeping them is incentive, right?  Not so far, it appears.  Besides, who has the money to buy a whole new wardrobe every time their weight fluctuates?  I guess the point is to NOT have your weight fluctuate (insert another sheepish look). 
     So I have decided....I'm gonna Just Do It.  I loved the feeling I had when I ran oh-so-many years ago.  And I say it everyday -- tomorrow I'm going to start running again.  I have been saying that for too many years and so I have devised a plan.  Oh, it's a little scary, but I need something to kick me in the rump and get this thing going.  I am registering to run a 5K.  Not a lot of mileage, but knowing that date (January 7, 2012) will be looming over me, I am hoping it will help me lace up those sneakers every morning.  There, I've said it, maybe accountability is what I really need.  A small bit of extrinsic motivation may lead to an abundance of intrinsic motivation.  Who's with me?  I'm trying to get Brandon and my mom on this train, but if I have to ride the rails alone, I know Christ is in me pushing me right along!!

It all started as an idea for a potential new career for Brandon.  Having worked on a golf course since he was sixteen, he is yearning for something more rewarding, intrinsically as well as financially.  I was about to sign him up for a personal training course when my parents suggested I take the class with him, if only to supplement my massage practice in a different way.  We studied our little brains out leading up to our weekend course in Charlotte and it paid off because Brandon was answering questions in class left and right like he wasn't the only one in class without a health background.  The real magic, however, started happening before we ever arrived in Charlotte.  I found myself daydreaming about a wellness center.  Owned and operated by the Stephens.  We began discussing the possibilities of something bigger than we ever imagined.  Brandon and I would pass a building for rent and say, "We could start out in a place like that....."  It is exciting, but we're not getting ahead of ourselves.  It will be a long road, but one I know we will enjoy together.  Because of all the studying we did together, it opened a whole new dimension in our relationship and that in and of itself made it awesome and gives me a glimpse of what would be to come should we embark on this adventure together.  Until then, I have already begun to incorporate some of the things I've learned to help my clients with their pain which not only makes me happy, but will also add to my massage practice's success. We are still waiting for the results of our written and practical exams and will be for three to five weeks, but I've got a big smile on my face, a glimmer in my eye, and a dream in my heart.  Maybe one day Sacred Willow Massage will be Sacred Willow Wellness.  Just maybe!

There are moments in our lives that are so surreal that when they pass, you keep playing them
over and over in your mind, trying to relive them.  I had such a moment today.  It will be a memory that I will carry with me forever.  It is a frozen piece of time that I am sure will be a landmark for how God has worked in my life.  It will always be a reminder to keep faith, to fight the good fight, to be still, and to remember that it is God's desire to bless us, His children.

I want to preface this story by telling you about the way I relate with my clients.  Very few of my regular clients come in for a massage wtihout sitting down and chatting with me for  several minutes before getting on the table and often times will continue sharing thoughts, feelings, and bits of their lives during their session.  Because of the relaxed and private nature of a massage session, clients will open up about things they may not ordinarily talk about with others, but feel completely comfortable discussing with me.  That being said, it is not a one way street and I have been known to share details about myself to a certain degree.  I have found that when the opportunity arises, I love discussing my faith and learning from other Christians who are further in their walk than I am.  It is such an amazing feeling when I connect with another Christian and we are able to openly and honestly discuss our love for the Creator and the blessings and/or hardships happening in our lives. 

The client I had today had only been to me once before.  I remember talking to her at length about her life and a little about mine during her first session, but if faith was discussed it was brief and only in passing.  Today she expressed she had been experiencing alot of stress due to a close friend and neighbor's failing health.  I set my resolve to help ease the physical and mental manifestations of this stress by maintaining a quiet session and pouring my focus and loving intent into my movements and energy.  I called on the Lord to use me as a vessel to heal her from the inside out.  When our session was over, I stepped out so she could gather herself and then she visited the restroom.  I was changing the sheets when she re-entered the room and I started asking her about some volunteer work she does at a local nursing home. 

After a few moments she said, "I need to share something with you.  The Lord spoke to me during my massage and I have a message to give to you."  I closed the door for privacy and sat down on the edge of my massage table.  "When I walked in today and looked at your face, I saw calm, serenity and peace.  I saw it coming from your eyes and in the air around you."  At this point she stood up from the chair she was sitting in and placed her hands on the sides of my head at my temples and said, "You are blessed among women.  Your calm, serenity, and peace bless those around you.  You bring people many blessings and those blessings will be returned to you. The Lord wants you to know that you are right where you need to be and that blessings are coming soon."  She continued in this vein for a few more moments while my eyes were closed, but filling with tears.  When she was done I thanked her, told her I was grateful for the message and disclosed to her that Brandon and I had been trying for a child for a while now.  Her arms flew in the air, she gasped and said, "I just got chills.  Just remember, blessings are coming."  We spoke briefly about faith and then chit-chatted about other things as she sipped her water and then I walked her to the door and said goodbye. 

It has been almost a year and a half of trying to conceive and although I still have faith the Lord will bless us with a child, some days are harder than others.  Things have been changing at home, for the better, and I have felt a new wind sweeping into our lives.  A wind that feels like it is bringing something new, something sweet, something worth waiting for.  I am home and about to continue laundry and make dinner, but I can barely stand still or keep the smile off of my face because my heart might just burst with all the praise I have for my Lord and everything He is doing in my life.  I truly believe the Lord spoke to me through this woman because He loves me and, like a true father, was letting me know in His own way and whispering for me to keep my faith.

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1:7

As I embark on this journey, I wonder where it will take me.  Do I have anything to say?  What will I find lurking in my heart that I will tap-tap-tap onto the screen for others to read? I hope this helps me to be more aware of the thoughts that make their way into my head instead of letting them float in and then float out without ever pinning them down.   I hope it will give me a fresh perspective on the seemingly accidental or innocuous happenings that take place during every day life.  I will embrace this sharing as a learning experience for me and as a way to study my life and read between my own lines.  Today I ask the Lord to bless me as I cast my vessel further into the seas of my life and to help me to see how His hand is directly involved in the guiding of my ship.